Smiles...The Eyes Have It!
by Paul Paz

"Smiles everyone!" That was the opening line by Ricardo Montleban in the old television show "Fantasy Island". A story based on the premise of hospitality. As if hospitality and smiles were a fantasy! A recent article in The Oregonian (Portland, OR - 1/14/01) got me thinking about smiles and how they relate to the hundreds of one-to-one encounters each waiter experiences with diners every week.

Per the Oregonian, "It's the most powerful of all facial expressions and the most radiant. Some say it's one of the things that make civilization possible. The smile is a universal expression of peace and willingness to cooperate - a vital message to communicate in an often hostile world." 

Recent studies indicate the smile is the oldest form of expressing the desire and willingness to cooperate. It is a potent facial expression that can be detected from as far away as the length of a football field making it the most visible facial expression from a distance.  New York author (The New Secrets of Charisma) and psychologist, Doe Lang says, "Any tension in the mouth when you're not smiling is very, very rapidly picked up." She says," People assume that you are mean when you purse your lips".

Given that impact that's why it's so important to acknowledge diners visually with a SMILE. It makes folks feel welcomed and that we're glad they've joined us. But a smile on the lips only is not enough.

The Oregonian continues, "Lang says, "A smile can heighten your magnetism. I teach people to do the secret smile that's seen in ancient statuary. It's a pleasant smile but noncommittal. It looks like you have a wonderful secret that you will tell or will not tell. First you smile with your lips then you leave the smile on your eyes and on your cheekbones but drop it from your lips. Eyes are essential to a good smile".

A smile of true enjoyment is difficult to fake. A true smile is connected to the muscles surrounding the eyes. These muscles cause the cheeks to raise and the crow's-feet at the eye's edges. In the words of the 19th century French neurologist, Duchenne de Boulogne who discovered this, "The emotion of frank joy is expressed on the face by the combined contraction of lip and eye muscles. The first obeys the will, but the second is only put into play by the sweet emotions of the soul…" The eyes have it!

Lang states further, "Smiling is a universal sign of acceptance. In American culture smiling holds an honored place. We had vast spaces and new frontiers, and people had to show that they were friendly. The smile was considered a necessary component of social skills".

So at the beginning of your shift remember those famous words, "Smiles everyone"!

(Paul Paz is a Dinersoft advisor and writes a monthly column for Servers here.  He also runs an egroup devoted to waiters.)